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i don't suffer from insanity... i enjoy every minute of it... | |||
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Thursday, July 05, 2007 so tired i think i'm dying. maybe i'm slowly dying cuz i get sleepier and sleepier everyday and maybe one day i just go to sleep and never wake up.... work has really been tiring me out. i think i'm still not used to being full time again. i mean this is my second or third week of being full time... but i don't think i remmeber it being this tiring last year haha... i've only had to do circle once so far haha wohoo! i'm pretty sure i'm gonna get stuck doing circle next week *sigh* i think that this lack of sleep stuff is really getting to me... i ache everywhere and my eyes are bloodshot and i think i have an eye infection (eww gross.) and i look like death haha... and now suddenly bubbles have appeared on my finger. how DISGUSTING is that?? bahahahaha... oh dear. i've been trying to not let the little things bother me too much... trying REALLY hard hahaha... but the funny thing about that is that the more i tell myself it doesn't matter.. the funnier it sounds. i guess it really does matter cuz i hafta remind myself so often that it DOESN'T matter so then reminding myself it doesn't matter just means it really does matter hahahaha make sense? it did in my head... it just gets really frustrating sometimes when i'm trying so hard not to get upset or care about whatever and then everything just blows up in my face or things happen that make me overthink little things which then gets me upset hahaha.... i just know that whenever i tell myself i don't care or it doesn't matter.. eventually i DO care and it DOES matter haha.. i think this is a lost cause... there's been so much happening these past few weeks that i haven't even had time to process everything. a lot of things that are on my heart that i've been trying not to think about.. but with all the stuff and planning going on its hard not to think about it... its really sad how someone's life could be cut short so easily... i mean even tho i didn't know them that well its still really sad to hear about how they've influenced so many people and now they're not here anymore... its just a weird feeling to hear about people you knew when you were little... dying... cuz people my age aren't supposed to die. so many things to wrap my head around. so many things i don't even know where to begin... i wanna just curl up in bed and sleep until everything sorts itself out... either that or just stay in bed forever... funny how you can never find anyone when you need them... 0_o ( 12:11 AM ) ~ punchyfruit ~ |
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