|
i don't suffer from insanity... i enjoy every minute of it... | |||
|
Thursday, April 13, 2006 invisible. i've finished one more exam... i'm almost there. i don't think i did too well on my exam... but theres no point in thinking about it now... its over and done with. thats why i never like to say how i did on exams.. i can't ever tell... and i'm alwayz wrong. ever get the feeling you're... invisible? there but not really there... kinda like one of those if i dropped off the face of the earth nobody would notice kinda things...or like if i died right now nobody would show up to my funeral scenario... i guess its alwayz kinda been like that for me... surrounded by people but all alone... i've kinda gotten used to it... so i don't really understand why i suddenly feel that way again. i dunno how to explain but its a weird feeling. especially now... i'm just really frustrated and confused about so many things... makes it hard to concentrate on anything... especially exams. like i don't even know what i should be doing about anything or what i should be thinking or saying.. or if i should even care at all. no breakdowns at least... i haven't cried at all this whole exam period. just a lot of... anger. i'm just angry at a lot of things and every little thing makes me mad. i guess i already knew that i get short tempered during exams but i don't think i've been... THIS short tempered cuz of school in a while. although i'm not really sure if its cuz of school... i wish that i could just make myself stop thinking... even for 5 minutes. just to have 5 minutes of silence... without all these thoughts swirling in my head... even just saying swirling makes me think of things swishing around in my head... exams mess up my sleeping schedule. as if it wasn't messed up enouhg already... i actually LIKE to sleep... too bad my mind won't let me. how do you know... that what you're doing is the right thing to do? how do you know that its time to let something go? how do you know you SHOULD let it go? how do you know there isn't something better? how do you know that you're making the right choice? how do you sleep at night without worrying about possibly regretting something you haven't done? how do you know... you're not about to make the biggest mistake of your life... how do you know? 0_o ( 4:04 AM ) ~ punchyfruit ~ |
|
||
