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i don't suffer from insanity... i enjoy every minute of it... | |||
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Tuesday, June 28, 2005 just not good enough. i alwayz get the feeling that everything i do is just never good enough. i wanted to be a vet when i was little but i couldn't because i wouldn't be able to handle it (i really wouldn't. i'd cry so much i'd be a complete mess) i wanted to be a writer but i just never seemed to write well enough. i never seem to be able to cheer up people. whatever i do is never enough... everyone seems to do a better job than me. i wanna be an artsy person... one who can design things... draw (not just copy things but really draw my OWN things) make my own clothes... all sorts of artsy things... but nothing i do ever seems good enough. i'm never satisfied with the necklaces i make, i can't think of a kool design for my necklaces and they just never seem to turn out right. my drawings... first of all they're not mine. i can't draw things from my own imagination, i can't just look at something and just draw what comes to mind... all i can do is copy. copy someone else's work which really doesn't make it mine. it just seems like everything i do... i can't do right. or maybe i just give up too easily. its so easy to say 'yeah i'll try harder... i'll practice until i'm good at it' but i can never seem to motivate myself. i mean i'll try for like a week or 2 and when i don't see any improvements... i stop. i guess i'm the kind of person who likes quick fixes. i like solving things the fast way (i like not having anything to solve!). i guess i'm just lazy. i WANT to change... i want to to be artsy, to be good at SOMETHING... but even that isn't motivation enough. 0_o ( 11:39 PM ) ~ punchyfruit ~ |
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