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i don't suffer from insanity... i enjoy every minute of it... | |||
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Wednesday, December 11, 2002 i wanna die... today was such a bad day... horrible horrible... first i woke up kinda late.. took forever in the shower.. like these past 2 days i took like an hour in the shower... nooo clue why.. just cuz i'm like doing all this thinking i lose track of time or whatever.. dunno.. but no more thinking while i'm in the shower! and then i set off the smoke detector while on the phone... sooo not kool... so today started off bad... and ended off even worse... i had my economics exam today.. the one i've been studying like mad for... obviously i didn't study hard enough... i think i really did badly.. like REALLY badly... like failed it... i was so mad... i cried like 3 times today... when i was studying before my exam i cried cuz i was doing those practice test things.. and i was doing sooo badly on them.. i did practically all of the ones in the study guide and i think i still did crappy on the exam... and then yeah.. i cried when i got home from my exam... my exam was at 7 at nite.. kinda sucky.. it was cold and i had to walk by myself... i got kinda paranoid when was coming back after my exam cuz i thought i heard someone walking behind me... hahaha... but yeah.. when i got home i just spaced out in front of the tv for an hour.. then i messaged andy and told him to kill me... he called in like 5 minutes... i cried when i was on the phone too.. i just felt soooooo bad... i seriously can't afford to fail... i know i can't... but i know i did... argh... i drive myself crazy... i talked to andy for like an hour and he made me feel better... he was really kool about it.. he didn't lecture me about how i coulda studied more or didn't try or anything... first thing he said when he called was "are you okie?" *sigh* i think he believes in me more than i believe in myself... and i have another exam tomorrow... but it'll be all over after that... i'll be done my exams and i'll have 3 weeks of holidays... i can't wait... i'm gonna be up all nite studying for this.. cuz i can't fail another course... i'll be so screwed if i do... but i think... i'll be okie... i mean there's nothing i can do about my economics exam anymore... it's over. i just gotta worry about anthropology and then thats it. i mean i still feel really crappy about doing badly on my economics exam... but like andy said i don't even know if i failed it... for all i know i actually coulda done okie on it... but just in case i wasn't okie andy called again later on to make sure i'd be okie... i'm glad he's around to keep me sane =) *sigh* one more exam to go... one long... and crappy hard exam... just one more... 0_o ( 2:21 AM ) ~ punchyfruit ~ |
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